Now I know I'm the kind of person who LOVES to criticize. I mean I seriously love to do it. I'll go to the mall just to sit in the food court and make fun of all the freaks that hang out there. I know it's not really a flattering personality trait, but what can I say? Some times taking the piss out of people is fun. That's not all that I want this blog to be about though, so I've decided today that I'm going to try and write about awesome things. Wish me luck.
1. Art
I'm a Fine Arts major, so I of course think art is awesome. Not shitty, stupid, pointless modern art, mind you, but REAL art. Things that took time and thought to produce and which showcase the artist's skill. The Renaissance was the most awesome art period in history, in my opinion. And Jackson Pollock might as well be the Anti-Christ. Damn abstract impressionists and PoMo's.
2. Slurpees
Liquid sugar, artificial coloring, artificial flavor and ice crystals, in a cup of tooth-rotting goodness. What's not to love?
3. Computers
As much as relying on them not only for my entertainment but also my livelihood bothers me, computers are pretty awesome. I just have to think back to the computer we had when I was in junior high to see how much more awesome they've gotten in the last decade or so. Also, I love Mac. :D
4. Hoodies
I'm a huge fan. They don't have to be name brand, or fancy, even though I prefer name-brand ones. (when I can get them on sale - yay for winter clearance events!) They're soft and warm, they look good on just about everyone, and having one in your car is like having an emergency blanket!
5. Tropical Skittles
Are the best kind of Skittles ever invented. If you've never had them, you might need a hug. The flavors are so much better than regular Skittles. Omnomnom.
6. Beef Jerky
I live in a town that is actually world renowned for its beef jerky, so I'm kind of a connoisseur. I don't like that thick, greasy, meaty beef jerky that every gas station sells, that's just humiliated steak in my opinion... But give me so really good beef jerky... I'll love you forever. lol.
Wow... that was actually really hard. I feel that exercises like this should be done on a regular basis for me, just to keep my head on straight.
Well, it's been fun. Till next time! <3
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Most Drivers Are Morons
Please tell me I'm not the only person that thinks this. I've almost been rear ended, run over, and side-swiped more times than I care to count. I've made some categories that I think these god-awful drivers fit into. Here they are:
1. The Really Old, Blind, Deaf, and Seriously Angry Old People.
These are definitely the worst ones where I live. They go 30 km/hr under the speed limit, even if the speed limit is only 30 km/hr, drive in the middle of two lanes or traffic, and are likely to run you down in a crosswalk. And you will never know if it was intentional or if they just didn't see you and the huge flashing orange lights of the crosswalk. They're also the ones that will rear-end you and then scream at you for being a, "punk kid who don't know nothin'... And when I was your age we treated our elders with RESPECT!"
2. Sixteen Year-Olds With Subwoofers in Their Civics.
I have such a love/hate relationship with these ones... Love because no matter how crappy I feel, I see these people and can't help but be glad in the knowledge that at least I'm not a douche-knuckle like them. Hate because... well they are annoying and full of failcakes and LOSE. Also these are the people who are likely to cut you off in traffic, because you know, Civics are TOTALLY racing vehicles.
3. People Texting While They Drive.
...Scare the crap out of me. Don't get me wrong, I've tried doing it a couple times, pushing the envelope of my multi-tasking abilities, but I'm talking about the people that actually need to LOOK at their phones to text. I don't use t9 (because I believe it was created by Gremlins, Satan, Sarah Palin, or something equally evil) so I don't need to see my phone to know what I'm typing. I still don't text unless I'm on a road where the most dangerous thing I could hit and kill is a pheasant. Does not absolve me, but makes me feel a little better.
4. Parents Who Don't Make Their Kids Wear Seatbelts.
Ever seen those SUVs driving down the road and all you can see is what looks like half a dozen beach balls bouncing around in the back, and when you get close enough to see what it really is you almost wish you'd never looked because it's CHILDREN?! I sure have and it's terrifying. The kids are crawling over seats, punching each other, climbing into the driver's lap and hanging out of the windows and you're always sure one of them is going to go flying out of the car at any moment and land on your hood. Scary. And there is NO way that driver's complete focus is on the road. NO WAY.
5. Dudes Who Are Doing WAY Too Many Things At The Same Time.
My dad is one of these people. I have been in the car with him while he was drinking a coffee, talking on his cellphone, taking notes, and going around on an exit ramp onto the highway. I pretty much curled up into the fetal position and resisted the urge to scream "I WANT TO LIIIVE!!!"
... Well I think that covers everyone from the age that they can GET a driver's license till the day that the police cut it up because they drove into the side of an IHOP because their cataracts were so bad that they didn't realize they weren't on the highway any more.
I'm sure there are more types - please comment with others that you've maybe encountered! :D
1. The Really Old, Blind, Deaf, and Seriously Angry Old People.
These are definitely the worst ones where I live. They go 30 km/hr under the speed limit, even if the speed limit is only 30 km/hr, drive in the middle of two lanes or traffic, and are likely to run you down in a crosswalk. And you will never know if it was intentional or if they just didn't see you and the huge flashing orange lights of the crosswalk. They're also the ones that will rear-end you and then scream at you for being a, "punk kid who don't know nothin'... And when I was your age we treated our elders with RESPECT!"
2. Sixteen Year-Olds With Subwoofers in Their Civics.
I have such a love/hate relationship with these ones... Love because no matter how crappy I feel, I see these people and can't help but be glad in the knowledge that at least I'm not a douche-knuckle like them. Hate because... well they are annoying and full of failcakes and LOSE. Also these are the people who are likely to cut you off in traffic, because you know, Civics are TOTALLY racing vehicles.
3. People Texting While They Drive.
...Scare the crap out of me. Don't get me wrong, I've tried doing it a couple times, pushing the envelope of my multi-tasking abilities, but I'm talking about the people that actually need to LOOK at their phones to text. I don't use t9 (because I believe it was created by Gremlins, Satan, Sarah Palin, or something equally evil) so I don't need to see my phone to know what I'm typing. I still don't text unless I'm on a road where the most dangerous thing I could hit and kill is a pheasant. Does not absolve me, but makes me feel a little better.
4. Parents Who Don't Make Their Kids Wear Seatbelts.
Ever seen those SUVs driving down the road and all you can see is what looks like half a dozen beach balls bouncing around in the back, and when you get close enough to see what it really is you almost wish you'd never looked because it's CHILDREN?! I sure have and it's terrifying. The kids are crawling over seats, punching each other, climbing into the driver's lap and hanging out of the windows and you're always sure one of them is going to go flying out of the car at any moment and land on your hood. Scary. And there is NO way that driver's complete focus is on the road. NO WAY.
5. Dudes Who Are Doing WAY Too Many Things At The Same Time.
My dad is one of these people. I have been in the car with him while he was drinking a coffee, talking on his cellphone, taking notes, and going around on an exit ramp onto the highway. I pretty much curled up into the fetal position and resisted the urge to scream "I WANT TO LIIIVE!!!"
... Well I think that covers everyone from the age that they can GET a driver's license till the day that the police cut it up because they drove into the side of an IHOP because their cataracts were so bad that they didn't realize they weren't on the highway any more.
I'm sure there are more types - please comment with others that you've maybe encountered! :D
This Blog Has Nothing To Do With Shakespeare.
... Sorry to any disappointed thespians out there. Feel free to write me an angry comment or throw shoes at me or whatever form of retaliation you see fit.
I'm pretty much terrified of starting a blog, people will read it, and I can't help thinking "Oh man, what if they hate it? What if I'm not funny enough?! OH GOD! WHAT IF I OFFEND SOMEBODY!? D:" And then my head basically explodes and I'm sitting in a corner rocking back and forth and making Gollum noises.
Now I'm over that (read: just biting my nails and twitching occasionally) and making my first foray into the wild world of blogging. In the spirit of a true neurotic I went and read as many blogs as I could find, compiling data and making sure I was going to do it right.
Want to know what I learned?
First thing is that no matter what I talk about - someone has already blogged it. Seriously - I had NO idea that people blogged about some of these things.... Cake vs. Pie, Robots vs. Aliens, Politics, Family, Animals that Look Like People.... If the word is in the dictionary - it has been blogged about.
I also learned that I will never be the funniest person on the internet. No matter how much I would like to be. I feel that http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ is probably the funniest person - and I am almost envious of her A.D.H.D. because my brain has come to the conclusions that:
1. There is no way one person can contain that much awesomeness unless they have some kind of disorder.
2. That disorder must also have a cool acronym.
I therefore will never be funny. Whatever I have is either a so far undiscovered disorder or a result of too much head trauma throughout my life.
Anyways, I'll try to update regularly, but I can't actually tell you when I'll update because then I'll freak myself out, panic, and end up back in the corner doing a bad Gollum impression. So whenever I have something cool to say - that's when I'll post. :D
I'm pretty much terrified of starting a blog, people will read it, and I can't help thinking "Oh man, what if they hate it? What if I'm not funny enough?! OH GOD! WHAT IF I OFFEND SOMEBODY!? D:" And then my head basically explodes and I'm sitting in a corner rocking back and forth and making Gollum noises.
Now I'm over that (read: just biting my nails and twitching occasionally) and making my first foray into the wild world of blogging. In the spirit of a true neurotic I went and read as many blogs as I could find, compiling data and making sure I was going to do it right.
Want to know what I learned?
First thing is that no matter what I talk about - someone has already blogged it. Seriously - I had NO idea that people blogged about some of these things.... Cake vs. Pie, Robots vs. Aliens, Politics, Family, Animals that Look Like People.... If the word is in the dictionary - it has been blogged about.
I also learned that I will never be the funniest person on the internet. No matter how much I would like to be. I feel that http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ is probably the funniest person - and I am almost envious of her A.D.H.D. because my brain has come to the conclusions that:
1. There is no way one person can contain that much awesomeness unless they have some kind of disorder.
2. That disorder must also have a cool acronym.
I therefore will never be funny. Whatever I have is either a so far undiscovered disorder or a result of too much head trauma throughout my life.
Anyways, I'll try to update regularly, but I can't actually tell you when I'll update because then I'll freak myself out, panic, and end up back in the corner doing a bad Gollum impression. So whenever I have something cool to say - that's when I'll post. :D
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