Breaking Down the Gender Binary... And Building a New One?

This is a post that I've really been debating about writing. I'm a very neutral Canadian most of the time and while I like to complain and mock silly things, critiques of larger/hair-trigger issues has never been something I've felt compelled to do. Until now. So strap yourselves in, shit's about to get real.

I'm in a relationship with a woman, and being a woman this immediately means I get tossed under the label of "lesbian" by most people. This is not actually the case, but since I'm neutral and passive I usually don't bother to correct the assumption. The point of that confession was to establish that I've had some exposure to the LGBTQ community in my city, and I've started to notice something that has gone from an interesting observation to a full blown revelation in my mind.

One thing I hear a lot from people that are active in the LGBTQ community is that they want to "break down the gender binary". Meaning that they want our understanding of what makes a person male or female to be changed to a system that is more inclusive to the people who simply don't fit into one of the two current categories. I respect this concept, I don't think anyone should be left out and I think everyone deserves a personal pronoun that actually defines them. Human beings as a species have a great deal of diversity and our language and social constructs don't always reflect this.

However, I've begun to notice that within the LGBTQ community there are gender binaries lurking below their "Binary-Free" exterior. For example, in both common identification and even in literature on lesbian sex and sexuality, there are two dominant categories of lesbians: Butch and Fem (there are lipstick lesbians too, but I've found this term less used in social situations so I'm not going to address it). This is a binary that defines everyone of the female sex that is attracted two women into another order of classification. Out of the kettle and into the fire is the first expression that comes to my mind. When I first noticed this my interest was piqued and I actually started paying attention to how this binary was constructed and maintained and what I saw was shocking.

There were occasions that I casually observed where a lesbian that was "butch" tried to dress up and wear more feminine clothes and got comments such as "That's too girly!" or "You don't look gay enough!". When I heard that one I actually stopped what I was doing and stared. How do you LOOK gay enough? Do you have to be sporting plaid or wearing clothes intended for someone of the opposite sex? The sheer hypocrisy of the whole concept boggles my mind. After all this talk of being against a social framework that labels and restricts people, the fact that a comment like that would even be THOUGHT of, much less given voice to, was startling.

I wish I could comment more on this with regards to gay or transgendered individuals, but I'm simply not well enough informed, although I have this sneaking suspicion that if close enough attention was paid, similar binaries would begin to emerge.

Perhaps it's a simple function of the human mind, our synapses in our brain and the muscles in our body work in binary, perhaps on some base level our thoughts do as well. I'm not a neuroscience major, but it certainly seems that human beings, no matter what they claim, will always need to have some sort of system of categorizing people, and a black and white one might just be the easiest.

I personally reject this whole mess, and even as I say that I'm sure it's hypocritical on some level, since I'm still human and still label people in and attempt to rationalize the data being presented to me. But now that I've made this observation I know I'll always be hyper-aware of it. I hope I've inspired at least one or two others to be as well! Cheers.

**DISCLAIMER**

This is by NO means meant to be an attack on any one person or even on a group of individuals. It is simply a general set of my personal observations, filtered through my own mental processes. If you take offence to anything I've written, please feel free to comment and tell my why - I love to learn and I'm more than happy to be corrected/informed. Keep it civil though. :)

Back to School Boogey.

That's right, it's the most wonderful time of the year, school is back in and everyone is excited. The university reeks of freshman's hopes and dreams and it's infectious. I can't help but think that I'm going to study more, eat less and actually exercise, even though I know somewhere deep in my subconscious that all of this will be abandoned when the projects start to roll in.

See, I'm an art major, nothing is more important to me than my studio classes and I have this bad habit of working on them to the exclusion of all my other classes. I know I do this, and yet I can't seem to stop myself from choosing contour drawing over reading about the ancient Maya, no matter how fascinating they may be.

As I progress through my university career I'm starting to be more observant at this time of year however. The first year I was blinded by my unwavering optimism, which was quickly crushed under the heel of my Archeology 1000 professor. The time around I was still pretty optimistic, but cautiously so. That dissipated after about two weeks of gruelling projects and confusing loan paperwork. Now I'm older and (hopefully) a little wiser, and I can actually take a look around me at the other people at my university and what I see freaks me out just a little bit.

For one thing, I must have missed the moment in time when it became okay for girls to stop wearing pants. I took a look around the bus loop one day and was actually scared that there would be a strong breeze, at least half a dozen girls were standing around in over-sized t-shirts and tights and not much else. Their mommies would be so proud. I take comfort in the knowledge that come about midterms most of them will give up on trying to look like super models every day and start sporting sweatpants.

Also, when did dreadlocks become popular? I've seen more people sporting dreads the first week of this semester than I've seen in the rest of my life combined! I had been thinking about dreading my hair at the start of next summer, but I'm seriously reconsidering that now.

Something fun for all you smokers out there to try - if you have a P.E. building with a smoker's area somewhere kind of near the doors, go have a smoke there at least once a day. The looks you get from all the preppy wanna-bes is amusing. Immature? Yeah, but undeniably entertaining.

So, in closing, good luck to all you returning or new students out there and remember, it's NEVER as big of a deal as you think it is.

Cheers!

I am A) a hipster, B) a punk C) a prep or D) all of the above

Call me old, but I don't understand fashion or at least the genres of it any more.

When I was in high school you were either a prep or you weren't, that was about it. Now there are all these ridiculous labels being put on how you dress that have nothing to do with how you really live your life.

If you wear plaid, legging skinny jeans and have anti-seal-hunting buttons on your messenger bag you're all of a sudden a hipster. If you wear a t-shirt made out of bamboo fibers and have dreads you're a hippy. If you wear chucks and studded bracelets you're a punk.

How superficial. I remember when being those things meant you lived the lifestyle, not just rocked the look. I remember when being a hipster meant that you were a deep thinker that was on a mission to change the world, when being a hippy meant you smoked at least a gram of the reefer a day and when being punk meant you hated authority and loved underground music.

I personally have never really felt the need to stick myself with one label. I like to shop a Value Village and the Salvation Army, but I also have an affinity for branded skate shoes and hoodies. I like camo and denim but I own several dresses. I own four pairs of high heels and my only all season coat is a men's leather motorcycle jacket. I like a lot of popular music, but I know that the creativity of music today is being rapidly eclipsed by making catchy beats that sell. I never wear make up, but I do manicure my nails. I don't know what all of this adds up to, but I think I can honestly say that it's my own style, not something that Hot Topic rammed down my throat.

I think everyone could use a little more creativity, not just with their style, but with themselves. Being sheeple is never cool, find out who you are and what you like, then get clothes and a look that reflects on YOU and how you live your life. Once you've got it rock that as hard as you can!

Things That Are Awesome

Now I know I'm the kind of person who LOVES to criticize. I mean I seriously love to do it. I'll go to the mall just to sit in the food court and make fun of all the freaks that hang out there. I know it's not really a flattering personality trait, but what can I say? Some times taking the piss out of people is fun. That's not all that I want this blog to be about though, so I've decided today that I'm going to try and write about awesome things. Wish me luck.


1. Art

I'm a Fine Arts major, so I of course think art is awesome. Not shitty, stupid, pointless modern art, mind you, but REAL art. Things that took time and thought to produce and which showcase the artist's skill. The Renaissance was the most awesome art period in history, in my opinion. And Jackson Pollock might as well be the Anti-Christ. Damn abstract impressionists and PoMo's.

2. Slurpees

Liquid sugar, artificial coloring, artificial flavor and ice crystals, in a cup of tooth-rotting goodness. What's not to love?

3. Computers

As much as relying on them not only for my entertainment but also my livelihood bothers me, computers are pretty awesome. I just have to think back to the computer we had when I was in junior high to see how much more awesome they've gotten in the last decade or so. Also, I love Mac. :D

4. Hoodies

I'm a huge fan. They don't have to be name brand, or fancy, even though I prefer name-brand ones. (when I can get them on sale - yay for winter clearance events!) They're soft and warm, they look good on just about everyone, and having one in your car is like having an emergency blanket!

5. Tropical Skittles

Are the best kind of Skittles ever invented. If you've never had them, you might need a hug. The flavors are so much better than regular Skittles. Omnomnom.

6. Beef Jerky

I live in a town that is actually world renowned for its beef jerky, so I'm kind of a connoisseur. I don't like that thick, greasy, meaty beef jerky that every gas station sells, that's just humiliated steak in my opinion... But give me so really good beef jerky... I'll love you forever. lol.


Wow... that was actually really hard. I feel that exercises like this should be done on a regular basis for me, just to keep my head on straight.

Well, it's been fun. Till next time! <3

Most Drivers Are Morons

Please tell me I'm not the only person that thinks this. I've almost been rear ended, run over, and side-swiped more times than I care to count. I've made some categories that I think these god-awful drivers fit into. Here they are:

1. The Really Old, Blind, Deaf, and Seriously Angry Old People.

These are definitely the worst ones where I live. They go 30 km/hr under the speed limit, even if the speed limit is only 30 km/hr, drive in the middle of two lanes or traffic, and are likely to run you down in a crosswalk. And you will never know if it was intentional or if they just didn't see you and the huge flashing orange lights of the crosswalk. They're also the ones that will rear-end you and then scream at you for being a, "punk kid who don't know nothin'... And when I was your age we treated our elders with RESPECT!"

2. Sixteen Year-Olds With Subwoofers in Their Civics.

I have such a love/hate relationship with these ones... Love because no matter how crappy I feel, I see these people and can't help but be glad in the knowledge that at least I'm not a douche-knuckle like them. Hate because... well they are annoying and full of failcakes and LOSE. Also these are the people who are likely to cut you off in traffic, because you know, Civics are TOTALLY racing vehicles.

3. People Texting While They Drive.

...Scare the crap out of me. Don't get me wrong, I've tried doing it a couple times, pushing the envelope of my multi-tasking abilities, but I'm talking about the people that actually need to LOOK at their phones to text. I don't use t9 (because I believe it was created by Gremlins, Satan, Sarah Palin, or something equally evil) so I don't need to see my phone to know what I'm typing. I still don't text unless I'm on a road where the most dangerous thing I could hit and kill is a pheasant. Does not absolve me, but makes me feel a little better.

4. Parents Who Don't Make Their Kids Wear Seatbelts.

Ever seen those SUVs driving down the road and all you can see is what looks like half a dozen beach balls bouncing around in the back, and when you get close enough to see what it really is you almost wish you'd never looked because it's CHILDREN?! I sure have and it's terrifying. The kids are crawling over seats, punching each other, climbing into the driver's lap and hanging out of the windows and you're always sure one of them is going to go flying out of the car at any moment and land on your hood. Scary. And there is NO way that driver's complete focus is on the road. NO WAY.

5. Dudes Who Are Doing WAY Too Many Things At The Same Time.

My dad is one of these people. I have been in the car with him while he was drinking a coffee, talking on his cellphone, taking notes, and going around on an exit ramp onto the highway. I pretty much curled up into the fetal position and resisted the urge to scream "I WANT TO LIIIVE!!!"

... Well I think that covers everyone from the age that they can GET a driver's license till the day that the police cut it up because they drove into the side of an IHOP because their cataracts were so bad that they didn't realize they weren't on the highway any more.

I'm sure there are more types - please comment with others that you've maybe encountered! :D

This Blog Has Nothing To Do With Shakespeare.

... Sorry to any disappointed thespians out there. Feel free to write me an angry comment or throw shoes at me or whatever form of retaliation you see fit.

I'm pretty much terrified of starting a blog, people will read it, and I can't help thinking "Oh man, what if they hate it? What if I'm not funny enough?! OH GOD! WHAT IF I OFFEND SOMEBODY!? D:" And then my head basically explodes and I'm sitting in a corner rocking back and forth and making Gollum noises.

Now I'm over that (read: just biting my nails and twitching occasionally) and making my first foray into the wild world of blogging. In the spirit of a true neurotic I went and read as many blogs as I could find, compiling data and making sure I was going to do it right.

Want to know what I learned?

First thing is that no matter what I talk about - someone has already blogged it. Seriously - I had NO idea that people blogged about some of these things.... Cake vs. Pie, Robots vs. Aliens, Politics, Family, Animals that Look Like People.... If the word is in the dictionary - it has been blogged about.

I also learned that I will never be the funniest person on the internet. No matter how much I would like to be. I feel that http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ is probably the funniest person - and I am almost envious of her A.D.H.D. because my brain has come to the conclusions that:

1. There is no way one person can contain that much awesomeness unless they have some kind of disorder.

2. That disorder must also have a cool acronym.

I therefore will never be funny. Whatever I have is either a so far undiscovered disorder or a result of too much head trauma throughout my life.

Anyways, I'll try to update regularly, but I can't actually tell you when I'll update because then I'll freak myself out, panic, and end up back in the corner doing a bad Gollum impression. So whenever I have something cool to say - that's when I'll post. :D